iHate English
by Allybooklover6677
Summary: "So yeah, Hamlet really has nothing to complain about." Freddie reflects on his feelings since the lock-in. Seddie/Creddie mentions


**Title:** iHate English  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> I don't own iCarly or the wonderful characters (although I would love to)  
><strong>Rating:<strong> T  
><strong>Summary:<strong> _So yeah, Hamlet really has nothing to complain about.  
><em>**A/N:** Basically… I hate this story. I know I shouldn't be posting it since I hate it and all, but I'm sort of scared that if I don't post it soon, I'll be editing and re-writing it daily for the next week… which I can't afford to do. (And yes, by that logic I should just give up on it altogether, I know… I'm just a sad person who can't let go… even when the end product sucks.) Anyway, it's a basic overview of Hamlet compared to the life of Freddie Benson.

Freddie hates English.

It's not that he finds it terribly hard, or too boring to work on, but he's pretty certain his teacher hates him. Maybe it's because he's the classic tech geek, or because his science and math grades always seem to be at least 5 percent higher than his English grades, but she seemed to take an immediate dislike towards him and goes much harder on him than all the other students.

So it really comes as no surprise when Freddie hates another thing about English. _Hamlet_.

Carly, _surprise, surprise_, loves it, but Freddie doesn't really understand why. All throughout the entire play Hamlet just sits around thinking and doesn't actually _do_ anything, and seriously, how did Hamlet get to be a tragic _hero_ anyway? Freddie always thought a hero was the guy who saved the pretty maiden from the tower, but his teacher acknowledges this with an eye roll and an exasperated sigh. Oh yeah, did he mention that he _hates_ English?

Sure Hamlet's life isn't perfect, but Freddie's starting to wonder if it's really all that bad. Okay, so, Hamlet's father dies, and Freddie knows it's awful, but at least Hamlet got a chance to know his father, and it really does make all the difference.

Also, Hamlet has a terribly untrustworthy girlfriend… well, Freddie can understand how that would suck. But at least Hamlet _has_ a girlfriend and not two best friends that he just so happens to have feelings for. Freddie gets a little side-tracked as he remembers the state his current love life happens to be in. Sam loves him, apparently, and he's pretty sure he's never seen Carly more jealous in his entire life than she was the night of the lock-in. To make things worse (because like some crazy rule of life, things aren't allowed to actually get _better_) he doesn't actually know how he feels. Carly, well, she's been the love of his life since the sixth grade, and her finally returning his feelings is nothing short of miraculous (well, she did before, but that doesn't count because he was only _bacon_) but then there's Sam to think about. If he's honest (which he is, because his mother raised him right, despite her insanity) he's deathly afraid of rejecting Sam, because, well, she's _Sam_. He can just see himself waking up in the hospital about a week after _that_ conversation. But, while being honest and all, he doesn't really _want_ to reject her. Maybe he was hit one too many times on the head, or maybe she really is some evil, manipulative witch that can use devilish magic and get her way, but he feels _something _when he's with her, that much he knows. So yeah, Hamlet really has nothing to complain about.

And okay, Hamlet feels like he doesn't have friends or family to rely on. Fair enough. Except it isn't. Freddie thinks Hamlet should try his situation out for a change. At least Hamlet has Horatio. Freddie can't exactly have a heart-to-heart with Spencer, considering that this whole _situation_ involves his little sister and his mother isn't even an option when it comes to girls (or any topic really). And sure, Brad's a nice guy, but he wouldn't _get it_, he's only been the iCarly intern for a week. And Gibby, well, Freddie doesn't even go there. If he could talk to one of his best friends about this whole mess, then maybe everything would be better. But he can't, so Hamlet, who has Horatio, really has nothing to complain about.

Of course, Freddie let's Hamlet complain about his mother and uncle sleeping together, because yeah, that's just disgusting and Freddie neither can, nor wants to, compete with _that_ mess. (Although, if he let's himself think about it for more than a second, his mom and Lewbert... and, well, maybe the situations are best when _not_ compared.)

Of course, Freddie knows the comparisons are unfair (after all, the only antagonist in his life is Sam… and he's not even sure about _that_ anymore) but he doesn't really care.

The problem with _Hamlet_ (the play) as he sees it, is that, too much like his own life, there was really no win-win scenario. Hamlet's morals and constant thoughts made it far too difficult for him to avenge his father when given the chance and when he finally does get the chance again, it doesn't even matter because he's dying himself; much like Freddie's constant thoughts are making his situation only more complicated and once he chooses, he will lose something, either Carly or his life (which isn't true… but he's still scared to test Sam) and forever change the dynamic in their friendship.

But mostly, Freddie hates English because it's just another reminder about how much life sucks.


End file.
